In Memoriam

Jarrod Saltalamacchia

Jarrod Saltalamacchia, a life-long resident of Minneapolis, Minnesota, succumbed Sunday evening to an unknown illness. He was 14 months.

A Betta fish, Jarrod is survived by his human mother, Lauren Poulter, human step-father Ryan Glanzer, and roommate-family Sarah Domenichetti, Roscoe Domenichetti and Nick Sandbulte.

Jarrod was known by all to be a kind and scholarly fish. His brief life was punctuated by some excitement; at age 3 months he was nearly murdered by a cat. His happiest moments were when he was fed and when he was given fresh water to swim around in.

A memorial service is planned for 8:30 pm on Monday evening, December 8th in the downstairs bathroom of his Minneapolis home. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to the Poulter-Glanzer Fish Memorial Fund.

The editorial staff would like to make note that Jarrod Saltalamacchia is alive, well, and training for the 2009 baseball season in the Palm Beach, Florida area.

Holy crap!

We're really doin' it, guys, we're really doing it.

We have a date.

October 10th, 2009.

We have a location: the Profile Event Center.

I've been excited to marry Ryan since, well, before he proposed to me, but now... it's so real. We're going to put down a deposit and apply for a marriage license and pay for flowers and catering and liquor and a pretty white dress and ten people will stand up there with us (still an insane number of attendants if you ask me...but of course I love all of them!) and we will get MARRIED. Holy crap.

So, save the date, y'all.