Wedding thoughts, at random

I want to start blogging about wedding stuff more because I'm sure than in a year's time (or maybe three or eight years' time) I will look back fondly on this time and wish I had more record of my thoughts. Should I try to relish this time? I'm trying to think more positively about wedding stuff, and not think of it as one crazy day that's sucking up all of my time and money and energy.

- We went to two florists this weekend! One was great and one was okay. I got a quote from the great one and it's UNDER budget, including centrepieces!! That's what makes it the great place. So unless I hear back from the girl that Jaime used, Chez Bloom will be doing our flowers. The woman there had the right combination of listening to what I wanted and offering suggestions... perfect for me, who wants lilies and purple flowers but doesn't have a damn clue beyond that.

- I am getting antsy for my dress! It's been 8 weeks since I ordered it...

- Invitations scare me. That's the next big scary thing. There are SO many choices and they're all really pretty. I'm definitely not making my own; while that might work for people like Manda that is not something that would work out for me! Lauren + scrapbooking = pain

- Rehearsal dinner location is set, I think! We're going with Chapati, the site of our first date (everybody together, now: AWWWWW) which has amazing Indian food. And to the people who are concerned about spice, they are very willing to make a variety of dishes so I assure you that there will be things like grilled chicken, veggies, rice and bread for you wimps. Or you can just not come to the RD. OH, what now!

- The big freakout, today, is that I realized that our wedding is the day of U of M Homecoming. Did I know that already? If I did, it got sucked back out of my brain because I've been freakin' out all evening. I don't know what will be better: if the game is at 11am, which would end around 3pm, pouring thousands of people out into Stadium Village right before the wedding... or having a 6pm game, with people out at night drinking and yelling and wreaking havoc? Oh boy, oh boy. Well, we are definitely getting security to keep any party-goers out of our reception. Last thing we need is some drunk frat boys getting wind of the bar and going nuts all over our reception. Unless of course, they're drunken frat boys from U of T, but that would be kind of odd. Since I don't talk to them anymore and all.

- Where the heck is Ryan? He is (possibly? for sure?) going to start DJing at our reception site and was meeting with a couple tonight. Ryan, come home! I have a chicken with broccoli and onion stir-fry waiting for you! And it's getting cold!

- This may be uncouth, but I can't wait for people to buy my presents, like the super-amazing-crazy-expensive skillet I want. I am so sick of cooking with cheap-o pans.

Countdown!

Confound it all, this just doesn't fit anywhere within my layout.

I'll find a new one that does, don't you worry.

I'm back, baby

Hey, it's been a while!

Ryan's been bugging me for ages to write a blog post. For some reason, despite driving me to work, exchanging an email or two during the work day, picking me up and driving home with me, going to the gym with me, eating dinner with me, sitting next to me on the couch while we plow through our Best Picture Winners project and snuggling next to me at night, he still wants to read about what's going on in my head.

Aw, we're so damn precious.

So what have I been up to? Turning 25 was, actually, surprisingly painless. Moving out of the old house and into the new apartment was not quite so painless, with a huge snowstorm slamming the Upper Midwest the night before. Nothing makes moving exciting quite like a foot of new snow and bitter cold! We had lots of lovely help from the Berglund-Husebys and the Rosoks... that sister of mine is a taskmaster, and I mean that in the best way! She was instrumental in motivating all of us to keep on moving heavy furniture.

Other than that, Ryan and I joined the YWCA; we bought a 42" LCD TV and schmancy new tv stand for it, along the way realizing that we have a lot of IKEA furniture!

I've also been attempting at wedding planning, although I am terrible at it. Really, awful. There are some people, some of whom I have called friends, who really excel at this type of thing. I don't excel at it and I don't enjoy it. But we have the church, the reception hall, the dress, the wedding party, the bridesmaid dresses and the date. We have a photographer and soon we'll have a baker. We need an officiant (um, very important) and a florist. Hopefully the rest will fall into place easily enough.

I've Been Thinking 'Bout You

Just thinking about readings for the wedding:

XVII (Cien sonetos de amor)

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.


I love the last stanzas. They might be better in Spanish:

Te amo sin saber cómo, ni cuándo, ni de dónde,
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
así te amo porque no sé amar de otra manera,

sino así de este modo en que no soy ni eres,
tan cerca que tu mano sobre mi pecho es mía,
tan cerca que se cierran tus ojos con mi sueño.

To any Alpha Gam friends who are coming to the wedding: You're readers. Plan on it. If you can't make it I will understand, but if you are going to be in Minneapolis on 10-10-09, you're in the wedding.

By the way, have I mentioned how much I miss Toronto lately? Not to say that I don't love Minneapolis, because I do. I love my roommates and my fiance and my family, and Minnesota will always be my home. But Toronto is my alma mater, the mother of my soul.

Someone asked me today exactly what it is, really, about Toronto that I love so much: I don't have an answer to that question. It's where I found myself. Toronto is where Lauren was born. Minnesota gets such short shrift; I was born here too in many ways! If I divided up evenly the pivotal moments of my short life, I don't think either side would win. So many influential times were split between the two places. But I miss Toronto in the way I would miss a lost limb. Toronto is, in every way, a part of my heart and my soul.

Which is why I love Ryan so much more when I mention Toronto and he says, "We're going to move there soon!" He knows how important that place is to me; he knows that half my heart lives there. Well, half my heart lived there, before I met him: he owns more of it now than any mere city ever could. We likely never will live there, though it is a nice dream... he knows that I love having that dream.

Holy crap!

We're really doin' it, guys, we're really doing it.

We have a date.

October 10th, 2009.

We have a location: the Profile Event Center.

I've been excited to marry Ryan since, well, before he proposed to me, but now... it's so real. We're going to put down a deposit and apply for a marriage license and pay for flowers and catering and liquor and a pretty white dress and ten people will stand up there with us (still an insane number of attendants if you ask me...but of course I love all of them!) and we will get MARRIED. Holy crap.

So, save the date, y'all.

Gimme Gimme Gimme!

I kid, of course. But I have seen quite a few Christmas wish-lists popping up on blogs that I read lately, so I thought I might as well jot down a few ideas for gifts:

- Anything from the ol' wedding registry. Many lovely items to choose from there!

- A knitting machine. I love to give scarf, hat and mitten sets as gifts but I hate knitting scarves. Hate hate hate HATE. I would love to have a tool that I could use to make scarves and other square things.

- Any one of these classic knitting books.

- The Options Interchangeable Circular Knitting Needle Set. Droooool.

- New iPod. The ancient 512mb Shuffle just isn't cutting it anymore!

- Some kind of basket for knitting/sewing notions.

- Scrubs: Season Seven
- Dexter: Season Two

- Hockey tickets!

- Please, no yarn. I have too much of it and I want to get through as much of it as I can before I accumulate more! However, gift certificates to Joann, KnitPicks, Needlework Unlimited, or Linden Hills Yarn would be lovely.

- Cookbooks. I don't have anything specific in mind, but anything that's well-reviewed in the vein of eating healthy, local, and for busy people would be wonderful.

All in all, though, I really don't need anything. I'm sure I don't need to mention the economy, but it's relevant and I would sincerely appreciate someone teaching me a skill (like crocheting or a refresher course on using my SLR) rather than spending money on things I that I do not need. I would also love handmade things. Preferably not baked goods, as I'm hoping to reduce the level of tummy paunch before I don an expensive white dress, not increase it! But any other sort of handmade gift would be lovely and greatly appreciated.

Things That I Hate

- Wedding planning. It sucks and I don't like it. Vendors don't respond in the timeline that I think is appropriate (I'm talking 3-5 business days for a major, well-established catering company/hotel chain). I'm talking about giving these people thousands and thousands of dollars and they can't be bothered to email me back to tell me what they charge and if they can accommodate me?! UGH!

- Norm Coleman. What an ass. Regardless of one's political persuasion, I think that we can all agree that Minnesota deserves a Senator that respects the rule of law. Not one that says, with a fluid 400-ish vote lead, that he won unequivocally and that his opponent should resign himself to that fact and call off the recount of the popular vote that is mandated by state law. Fuck off, Norm. Your record is shameful. You were the Democratic mayor of St Paul until you realized that it was easier to get elected as a Republican. So you switched. You then lost a race for governor to Jesse Ventura, almost lost to Paul Wellstone (RIP, to the most passionate representative the State of Minnesota has ever had in Washington) and may well lose to Al Franken. Hardly a popular mandate, sir, and THREE TIMES now, you have failed to carry your former city in an election! Comments like those he made on Wednesday disgust me. I hope the manual recount of votes prove Al Franken to be the winner in a blow-out.

- Working, but not having any work to do. Say what you will, but when I'm at work I like to be busy. I hate just sitting around, watching the clock tick. Nothing makes the time go faster than wading in thigh-high to a complicated report and making sense out of it. That makes me sound like a huge loser, but it's true. I hate just sitting around at work.

- Getting up every morning for work. I am not a morning person and I DO NOT LIKE being at work before 8am.

- Overly-sweetend things. It's true. I love things that are mostly unsweetened. When I drink juice, it's usually a 25% juice to 75% water ratio--also good for keeping the blood sugar level ... level. I don't really like chocolate, unless it's quite dark or in a flourless-type cake, or with mint. I prefer fruit desserts. Today one of the girls from the Cookie and Cracker desk at work came around with a giant cart full of samples, and I grabbed a box of "Stella D'Oro" 100-calorie packs. They are the most delicious, barely-sweetened cookies ever and I love them. They are, however, billed as "breakfast cookies", which I find odd.

- Baseball being over. For serious! I miss baseball.

- My car. Anyone want to buy a '96 Probe? At this point, I should just get rid of the damn thing. I'm not driving it at all, and by the time I might need a separate car from Ryan, I could save the money I would have spent on gas/insurance/maintenance on a down payment for a newer car. Seriously, if anyone is interested, let me know--I'll consider all offers. It's a cute little car and it's been quite the workhorse for me. I actually sort of love the thing, if it weren't for how teeny-tiny it is, and how not-teeny-tiny my dear Ryan is. Ah well.

This is something of a weekend of milestones for me, as one year ago today I was in Toronto for my lovely friend Paula's wedding! I miss her--and all my Torontonians--dearly. I can't believe it has been a year already! Also (and I thought of this a bit ago and told Ryan, which he was a bit put off by) today marks what would have been the sixth anniversary with university boyfriend Tim. Yowzahs. Sunday, of course, marks both the one year anniversary of Paula's wedding, and the two year anniversary of Tim's and my breakup. I have to say, on the whole, I'm pretty okay with how things have turned out ;)

Once more unto the breach!

Ah, another Sunday night, looking towards the beginning of the work week. It's funny easily you become comfortable with a lifestyle: When I was first laid off, I freaked out with all of the time that I had at home, doing nothing, watching daytime television, etc. I quickly got used to it. Now, going to work feels so very strange.

I think we are starting to get down to brass tacks on wedding things. We've gone to look at a number of places: Blaisdell Manor, Van Dusen Mansion, Bayview Event Center, and the American Swedish Institute. Some of those we liked, some of those we didn't like, but all of them were oh-so-expensive! Well, they weren't actually that expensive in terms of wedding costs, but the scale of wedding costs as opposed to normal, everyday costs is extraordinary! I suppose, as my sister's very wise friend said, that this kind of thing is why people work hard and save money on the everyday things--it's for stuff like vacations, houses and weddings and if you work hard and save up the money, there is no reason to feel bad about spending money on a wedding.

Or perhaps the wedding industry is getting their message to sink in to my subconsious! I very much want both things: a simple, basic wedding that costs no money, and a lovely grand affair with all of our friends and family present. I want to keep my last name as a symbol to the world that I am my own woman and that I don't need to follow anyone's traditions, and I want to take Ryan's name because I love him and it seems romantic and that some parts of me really wants to have the "team name". Mostly, I just want to have a date, and a site picked out and set. I want that big thing done so that we can find a person to marry us, and a person to do the flowers and to make us a cake, etc etc etc.... I am almost beyond caring about the cost, just to find a place that will convince me that they have things on their end handled.

I am excited and nervous, nervous, nervous about the election on Tuesday. As a liberal person it's been easy, the past 10 years, to get excited about an election that looks like it'll go well for "our side" and then have it all fall apart. So nothing's for sure, nothing's a given. I want Norm Coleman out of office. I loathe him. Keith Ellison is pretty much a lock for re-election; good on 'im.

Do I really have to go to work every day?

I jest, I jest. But it has been quite an adjustment to getting up every day between 6:15 and 6:30 and heading in to work. I'm enjoying working at SUPERVALU pretty well, I've been in a lot of training thus far and have done only a bit of what I imagine will be my eventual "work". Some of the training is quite interesting, like research on consumer segmentation. Some of the training is deadly dull, like some of the internals which involve sitting in a windowless conference room for several hours, watching an instructor use a website or program.

In other news, I don't have much to report. We had a lovely weekend in Carpenter--we took Ann out for the big 21st bithday, we went to church, and Jordan took some engagement photos of us (hopefully some of them turned out well! And I mean that not in a technical sense, but in a I-hope-I-think-I-look-good way, of course. Jordan is a very talented photographer!) and, true to form, I forgot my coat at the Glanzer farm house. I think that if I were to drop off the face of the earth today, the Glanzers would remember me best as "the girl who left things at our house". I didn't need the jacket and it could have stayed in South Dakota until we went back, but before I even knew it, it was in the mail!

Tomorrow, Jason is scheduled to come over to watch Game 1 of the World Series. I'm very excited that the match-up is Rays-Phillies. Nothing could have made the baseball season end on a lower note than if the Red Sox were in the Fall Classic. This weekend, I am trying to schedule tours of potential wedding sites so that we can hopefully pin down a date soon!

Nervous

I start my new job tomorrow, and I'm nervous! What if no one likes me? What if I have to eat lunch in the cafeteria by myself? I'm not going to have any friends!!!

It really feels like the first day of school to me. I'm so nervous. I don't know what it's going to be like! My first day at HTA was similarly stressful and that was SUCH a small company. This is a huge company!!!

Sad as it is--although all the unemployment time made me a little crazy and bored, I really got used to having the free time. I would wake up around 9, bum around on the internet, apply for jobs, check the mail, make lunch, maybe hang out with a friend, apply for a few more jobs, watch TV and knit, and then wait for Ryan to get home and make dinner.

Not anymore, my friends! I am going to have to get back into the swing of things of waking up at 6:30, being at work by 8am, working working working, lunch, working, working, working, and then coming home. So weird! So normal! So.... profitable!

It's been a pretty good weekend of baseball, football, drinking, Indian food, snuggling, and knitting. Satisfactory, but I'm so weirded out that I have to put on dressy clothes tomorrow and go to a JOB! It'll be good though. Ryan and I need money to pay for our wedding!

Oh, man, wedding stuff. I have been having some pretty intense wedding dreams lately. A week ago I had a dream where it was a week before the wedding and we hadn't planned ANYTHING. Not a reception hall, or a ceremony site, or a caterer, or a DJ, or anything! And I would tell people about my problems and they would say, "Sorry, dear! You should have planned this earlier!"

On Thursday night I had a dream where Ryan and I were at a wedding expo, and there was a huuuuuuuuge line of caterers that had samples of chicken, fish and beef. You had to try EVERY dish before you could move on, and a lot of the caterers were doing things, so you could only get some samples....and it was so stressful! I had to go back and forth and back and forth to try to get every sample from every caterer so that I could move one to different caterers!

On Friday night I dreamt that I ordered ORANGE bridesmaid dresses! In the dream, this salesgirl convinced me that orange dresses would go really well with purple, green and blue everything else (clearly my subconsious is insane) and I believed it. Then, in the dream, Sarah and I went to meet the salesgirl to pick up the dresses and Sarah FLIPPED OUT at me. She was so mad over the orange dresses! I told her about the dream on Saturday morning and she said, "You better believe that I'd be mad over orange bridesmaid dresses!!"

So, obviously, my subconsious is VERY upset at me that I haven't been very "on" about wedding planning and my inner self thinks that I am dropping the ball on the whole thing!

To counter my subconscious, I HAVE been wedding planning! I went to a meeting at the Blaisdell Manor and if was very pretty and pretty ridiculously expensive! Ryan and I are still trying to figure out what we think is an "acceptable" amount to spend on our wedding, but it sure would be nice if either the Glanzers or the Poulters stumbled upon a previously-unknown fortune and paying for everything, no questions asked.

Alas.

Wish me luck on my first day tomorrow!

A job, a blog, and a gift registry

• Yes, it's true! On Monday, I start a one-year contract for Supervalu Corporation. They own Cub Foods and many other supermarket chains, as well as produce their own generic-brand grocery products. My title is something incredibly generic like "Business Specialist" but the important part is that I'll be doing your general exciting office stuff, and making more money than I did at HTA.

I'll be working in the building that used to house Best Buy's corporate headquarters, and it's really cool! Very bold colors, there's a test kitchen where they perform consumer marketing panels, and it's a huge building. It'll be a very different environment from the teeny little office that HTA was in. With any luck, I will have coworkers who are around my age!

• I've been posting at Babes Love Baseball for a week or two now, and I'm having a blast! Most days there are lots of emails that go back-and-forth between myself and other cool, baseball-loving girls. It's awesome and I'm having a great time!

• Yesterday, Ryan and I went to Target at the Quarry to start our gift registry (which you can view here). It was exhausting! I thought it would be such a fun, lovely time for us as a couple. It was, for the most part: we picked out a sweet tv (someone buy it for us! ;)) and a DVD-VHS combo player, and sheets, and a duvet, and towels and bath mats and place mats....

...and somewhere in there I became overwhelmed by all of the choices! How many of each thing ought we register for? What colors (apparently that's blues and greens)? Should we go for mix-and-match colors or all the same? HOW DO WE DO THIS?????

Now that I'm thinking about it while sitting on the couch, it doesn't seem so hard. But in the moment, after having been there for an hour discussing the benefits of registering or not for luggage and tool sets, it seemed like mission impossible.

The real difficulty here is that Ryan and I don't know where we'll be living in six months, never mind six years from now! So things like shelves and storage which we may or may not want and find useful in our new place, we don't know if we will have room for them, if they'll be useful in our home, etc. I think we'll be living in an apartment for a few years before we can buy any kind of house.

Ryan did a great job of trying to keep me calm and keep us on track, but I understand that he doesn't really care about all this stuff. I don't know that I care all that much about it, either. But I know that I want place mats and dishes and a nice rug and all that stuff, I just haven't figured out quite what I want. There are too many choices! Usually when I shop for "big ticket"-type things, I research and research and find reviews and opinions until my eyes bleed. But I can't possibly do that for every little item we'll be registering for or I'll go insane!

Seriously, buy us the TV. Or a kegerator! That would be awesome.

Setting a Date, Oy!

It's all so political.

What I would like, throwing out all concerns about other peoples' schedules (insert "I'M THE BRIDE! IT'S MY DAY!" expressions here), I would really like a fall wedding. I like the smell of fall. I like the colors. Autumn is probably my favorite season.

But when you throw in all the people who are expected to attend (and attend in an important fashion, no less!), summer makes SO much more sense. My sister won't be teaching, my brother won't be in school, other family members, both mine and Ryan's, won't have to deal with skipping out of school early.

But, think of the sweating! My poor darling sweats enough as it is, so unless we hold our reception in a meat locker, an August wedding would be so cruel to him!

Earlier in the summer would be nice, too. Perhaps not so hot. But if you say the words "May 2009" to me, that sounds REALLY soon. Too soon. I don't want to stress that much, and we need time to make money to pay for this shindig!

My darling friend Paula lucked out with her wedding last November 8th. It was one of those beautiful crispy fall days in Toronto, sunny and clear and just a little bit brisk. Best wedding ever.

November could be scary, though, weather-wise. Minnesota is so wildly unpredictable. It was stunningly beautiful yesterday, and the day before yesterday was pissing rain. Today, again, it is pissing rain.

I think we are going to have to go with my original plan and just let the venue we pick determine the date of our wedding. I am not a good decision maker (that should make this whole process interesting). Someone just pick a date for me!!!!!

In other news: I went to a bridal shop today. I looked at and touched wedding gowns. This is a big step for me, as just last week the gown part terrified me!

The Questions Begin

Since we got engaged, Ryan and I have been peppered with questions about our wedding plans. These inquiries only get stronger by the day! I'm beginning to wonder if we're abnormal, that we got engaged without any definitive plans of when and where and how we will wed.

If I recall correctly, Jaime and Christian had their wedding date and venues mostly decided on at least a month before they got engaged! Crazy!

Things we have decided:

• That we will get married.
• Generally, our attendants. We haven't asked all of them, and there are issues with numbers...Ryan has too many friends, basically!
• It'll be in the fall...ish. It'd be more convenient for a lot of people if we married before school starts, but I think a fall wedding would be really nice! I am keeping it open because I'd rather pick a date based on what dates are available at venues that we like!
• Colors: deep purple, sage green, cornflower blue, and ivory. I just decided them myself because I don't think Ryan cares. (If you do, honey, speak up!)
• The bridesmaid dresses: deep purple, and they'll have to be floor length.
• Our reception will be this crazy mix of South Dakotans, Canadians, and Minnesotans which will hopefully make for an awesome party.

That's all we know so far! Only about 7,832 questions left to answer...

In Which I Deal With Being Someone's Fiancée

What a weird word that is--I'm not sure if I like it. For now I'm trying to use it, but in that way where I emphasize something--Ryan pointed this out to me a while back and I didn't realize that I was doing it. When I am making a dramatic point, I will over-enunciate and stretch one of the words out ennnnddddllleeesssllllyyyy. So right now I am saying things like, "I really ought to send an email to my fiiiiiaaaaaaannnnncé."

Of course, I'm still unemployed, so I'm home by myself most of the day. So I end up saying these things to myself.

I'm struck by how much Friday's events have changed things. Not between Ryan and I, although I now look at him with a little more amazement and excitement for this new step in our lives, and I do find myself saying "we" more often than I used to. WE don't have any plans tonight. WE want to see that movie. But yet, the wedding is MINE. MY wedding will be on a Saturday. MY ceremony will be outdoors.

I'm struck by how many people seem to think that I have lots of plans made already (and bear in mind that I encounter very few people on a day-to-day basis). Detailed stuff that I can't even comprehend at this point. Band or DJ? Limo? Makeup done professionally? Dollar dance? (DJ. I dunno. I dunno. Absolutely not.)

And then there's the wedding-industrial complex (with apologies to Gen Eisenhower) that instructs me that WE ought to register for gifts right away, in case any of our associates would like to express their joy to us by buying a blender or a panini press, they have insights into our preferences. Holy shit! I've been engaged to my fiiiiiaaaaaaannnnncé for only a few days, but already WE are supposed to know what china pattern WE would like to eat from for the rest of our natural lives?

The registry thing terrifies me. WE don't know where we'll move next, but we won't be buying a house anytime soon, I can guarantee that! So what do we ask for? Stuff that will fit in an apartment, and when the day comes to buy a house we buy all new stuff? I don't want it to be like Kate and Tim, who stored a cache of wedding gifts at my parents' house for two whole years until they bought a house.

Though, with the registry thing, it would be nice to get a queen-sized down comforter. And I'm sure Ryan will celebrate on the day that our sheets are no longer pink with white polka dots. I kid you not.

I think on some level I must have been under the impression that when I got engaged, I would be imbued with some mystical bridal knowledge passed down from women before me. It didn't happen. I'm still clueless.

Rainy Weekend Made Bright and Sparkly by Pretty Ring

Pretty quiet weekend so far; Ryan is off DJing a dance at the Wabasha Street Caves (silly man thought they were in Wabasha, MN, when in reality they are on Wabasha Street in St Paul!) and I am indulging in my favorite rainy day activity: snuggling up on the couch under a blanket, drinking cocoa, and watching a little baseball! I am considering ordering pizza from Davanni's for dinner.

Yep, yep, just a normal day.... except for the big shiny thing that sits on the third finger of my left hand!

Yes, as most (all?) people surmised, Ryan's big surprise was proposing to me! And I said yes!

I'm going to write as much of it down as I can, so that I have a record of it! Bear with me, as it will surely get long-winded.

Ryan instructed me to bag an overnight bag, to be dressed slightly fancy, and to be ready to go around 5pm on Friday. I was nervous as nervous gets! I was pacing the floors and cleaning and doing anything I could think of to distract myself. Finally Ryan arrived, he changed clothing and we hopped in the car.

I had assumed that we would be going downtown for our little adventure, and I was right. Ryan drove through the rush hour traffic, all the while giving me little hints about where we were going. He told me that in truth he hadn't been at work all day, he had taken a half-day of vacation and spent the whole afternoon planning and running errands and getting the "destination" all ready for me! That trickster!

When we were on 5th St, approaching Washington Ave, I saw the tower of the Depot Hotel, where Ryan's friend Luke works. Luke's given us free drinks and appetizers on a few occasions, so I immediately guessed that Ryan and Luke were in cahoots. I was right! Luke managed to snag an amazing deal on a very impressive three-room hotel suite that had a jacuzzi tub!

Ryan made me wait outside the hotel room, though, while he poked in to make sure everything was right. He led me into the room, rose petals scattered everywhere, and showed me around our impressive digs--apparently "the Governator" was the last guest to use that particular suite! I wandered around for a few minutes until Ryan asked me to come sit on the couch by him.

I knew something was amiss because he started acting weird. He sat on the edge of the couch and told me that while he'd said he was working late last night, in reality he left at normal time and went to the Poulter family home, where my father and step-mom were quite touched that he asked their permission to ask me to marry him.

I think he said some more things, but I'm not quite sure--it's fuzzy already! Then he dropped down onto one knee and, with shaky hands, held up a ring and asked me to marry him! And, of course, I smiled REALLY WIDELY and said yes! And he put that sparkly ring on my finger (which fits perfectly and was chosen with the help of my sister--so much secrecy lately!)! We popped open some champagne, and set to work calling and texting everyone we know.

We called a lot of family and friends. I think the best reactions were my brother who asked "Are you pregnant?" when I told him that I had big news, and Ryan's friend Chris' wife, who heard Chris say "Congratulations!" and started screaming.

The rest of the night went by quickly. We went to Wasabi for a delicious sushi dinner, were given a tempura ice cream dessert for free by the restaurant, met up with Jason, Jaime, and Christian for a celebratory drink at the hotel bar, used the awesome jacuzzi in the bathroom.

This morning, Luke brought a delicious breakfast up to our room and was SHOCKED when Jason opened the door! Ryan and I were not aware of it (since the bed is in a whole different room! Best hotel ever!) but Jason didn't think it wise to drive home after drinking with us. A+ for safety! We ate delicious eggs, bacon and hash browns with toast and orange juice in the big stately bed. Awesome.

I was just a little sad that Ryan didn't have a speech prepared or anything. I guess I imagined that he would. Might be best, though, because if he had waxed on about his love for me I would have surely cried a lot (which he AND my parents thought I would!). And I think I wish he wouldn't have told me that he asked my parents before he actually proposed, because I knew it was coming! But those are silly small things, and the important part is that we are engaged! To be married!

This is totally uncharted waters for little old Lauren Poulter; being engaged feels sort of weird right now! I almost feel like it's pretend, or something. I don't feel like I'm old enough to get married, either! Who, me, a grown up? Already? Are you SURE? Getting engaged and married is something that other people do! I always thought I would, of course, but the reality of it hasn't quite set in yet.

I really do look lovely in diamonds, though!

Nomenclature

I've been thinking a lot lately about name changing. I don't know how I feel about this.

I want to emphasize now to Ryan: no pressure, no pressure. Seriously! I'm perfectly happy with the way that things are.

My mother didn't take Poulter as her name, which lead to myself (and my sister and brother) being given two last names--or, two middle names, which is how it functionally operates: though my full legal name is Lauren Ann Buchele Poulter, I use L.A.P. as my "full" name.

I have a few friends (Paula, Elise) who kept their birth names completely intact at marriage. I have one friend that hyphenated her last name with her husband's. I have unknown number of friends and associates who just plain old took their husband's last name at marriage.

And, of course, there's my sister; she and her husband both changed their last names to his maternal grandfather's traditional Norwegian name.

The thing is, though, that she didn't like Poulter. I actually like Poulter. It's who I am. I've had it for 24-plus-and-counting years. I always imagined that at marriage, I would go with "Lauren Poulter His-Last-Name", for all professional and personal purposes (I call this "going HRC" for the recent near-Democratic nominee for president.) There's just no easy answer for me. Ryan has not taken kindly to suggestions that he might change his last name to Poulter!

What is more interesting, perhaps, is women that I've encountered who married, took their husband's name in some capacity or another, and then were divorced, yet kept their married name. How peculiar! I would think that would be such a masochistic choice!

Of course, there's a story behind all this: I remember very, very vividly, when I was in the third grade, my mother instructing me that I ought never to hyphenate my name when I got married. Yet, when I was 16 and she re-married, what did she do? Hyphenate her name! (If you're keeping score at home, that marriage lasted only three years.)

I think, at the end of the day, I might be too stubborn to just take a new name, regardless of whether or not I like it.

To all readers (yeah, both of you. Ha!): if married, did you (your wife) change your (her) name? What was the motivation? I find this subject intruiging.

A few thoughts

• Every time the summer Olympics comes around, I realize that I've forgotten how much I love volleyball! Men's, women's, indoor or beach, I just love volleyball. It's such an precise, beautiful sport.

• The tv show Bridezillas is fantastically addicting and entertaining. I'm not even shamed by watching it anymore; I really love watching these ridiculous girls get so beast-like over a wedding. Funny stuff! And best of all, Ryan likes it too.

• I've been missing Toronto really intensely the last few days. I really wish it would have worked out to take a trip there over Labor Day. There's been talk of doing a road trip to the Black Hills over the holiday weekend instead.

• I miss blogging about baseball, but I don't have nearly the time it takes to keep up a decent blog. You'd think it'd be easy-ish, blogging with someone, but I haven't really talked to or seen Nicky in, what, a month?

• Ryan's birthday party has been changed to Sunday, Aug 24th. I hope many people come for bbq and beer and to eat lots of our vegetables.

• My computer was attacked by some bizarre spyware last night. It somehow is spyware that tries to tell me that I have lots of infections and should download and pay for a spyware removal program. It's taken over my desktop and I'm trying to keep it from taking over MSIE. Which means I'm running Firefox for the time being. I know that so many people love Firefox, blah blah blah, but I don't care for it. I never had any problems with IE and never saw the need to change, especially as there are plenty of things that won't run on Firefox.

• We still have lots and lots of veggies. A cabbage, 2 green peppers, 4 sweet corn, 2 beets, 2 cucumbers, a zucchini and some herbs. And I haven't yet picked up today's delivery (which I will go do as soon as I finish this blog post!).

• I hate Friday weddings. I hate the idea of them, and I hate the hassle that is involved in going to them. No offense to anyone who will have/is having/has had a Friday wedding, of course. Is it a money-saving tactic, or is it something that people do because the wedding site they wanted was already booked on all acceptable Saturdays? Even having a wedding on a Sunday is far, far better than having one on a Friday. Friday weddings, from the guest perspective, says "I'm the bride and I don't really care that 90% of my guests have to work Mondays-Fridays, I think they should take vacation time for ME!" This is, of course, more directed at weddings that start prior to 6pm or so on Fridays, but even so. My personal opinion is that if it is indeed a money-saving strategy, then you should reconsider your idea of a wedding. If you can't afford a gangbusters affair then you should downsize your guestlist, your menu, whatever. If you can't afford an open bar? Don't have a bar! Have a keg or just beer and wine or no booze at all! Yes, in my opinion asking people to take time off of work to attend your wedding is about as crappy as asking them to pay for their own drinks at a wedding. This may all be simply my idea of being an good host, of course, that if you are indeed throwing a party for your nearest and dearest, that you should make that party as easy and fun as possible for them. It shouldn't involve taking vacation time, fighting rush hour traffic, or paying for their own drinks.

It's safe to say that when I do get married (touch wood), it will not be on a Friday.

I realize the last bit probably comes off rather screed-like, but it's just rambling about weddings generally and I'd hate for any person, be they friend or random passerby at my blog, to take it personally. For the record, my best friend had a wedding that began at 5:30pm on the Friday before Christmas, and I Maid of Honor-ed it happily.

Liveblogging St Cloud, MN

I am, somewhat surprisingly to even myself, attention-shy a lot of the time. It's probably not surprising to anyone that I'm shy, generally (I don't think I spoke directly to Ryan's parents until my second or third time meeting them!)

So it's giving me fair amount of anxiety that Ryan's DJ table is perched atop a stage at this restaurant/venue we're at for tonight's gig. Apparently, the normal setup is for the bridal party to be atop the stage, but this bride has a whopping 12 people in her party, which is more than the stage can hold. So the DJ equipment is on the stage, and I sit looking down upon (very!) cramped seating for 150+. I can't wait for dinner to start, so that they can all watch me as I attempt to not spill Italian food on my suit.

The benefit of going to all these wedding receptions is that I do get lots of ideas and first-hand experience that I can use when I plan my eventual wedding (which I tell Ryan, of course, and he starts sweating a little more than normal) In any event, though, it's a free meal and usually a free drink or two. Which is nothing to complain about, even if I am on display!