Nervous

I start my new job tomorrow, and I'm nervous! What if no one likes me? What if I have to eat lunch in the cafeteria by myself? I'm not going to have any friends!!!

It really feels like the first day of school to me. I'm so nervous. I don't know what it's going to be like! My first day at HTA was similarly stressful and that was SUCH a small company. This is a huge company!!!

Sad as it is--although all the unemployment time made me a little crazy and bored, I really got used to having the free time. I would wake up around 9, bum around on the internet, apply for jobs, check the mail, make lunch, maybe hang out with a friend, apply for a few more jobs, watch TV and knit, and then wait for Ryan to get home and make dinner.

Not anymore, my friends! I am going to have to get back into the swing of things of waking up at 6:30, being at work by 8am, working working working, lunch, working, working, working, and then coming home. So weird! So normal! So.... profitable!

It's been a pretty good weekend of baseball, football, drinking, Indian food, snuggling, and knitting. Satisfactory, but I'm so weirded out that I have to put on dressy clothes tomorrow and go to a JOB! It'll be good though. Ryan and I need money to pay for our wedding!

Oh, man, wedding stuff. I have been having some pretty intense wedding dreams lately. A week ago I had a dream where it was a week before the wedding and we hadn't planned ANYTHING. Not a reception hall, or a ceremony site, or a caterer, or a DJ, or anything! And I would tell people about my problems and they would say, "Sorry, dear! You should have planned this earlier!"

On Thursday night I had a dream where Ryan and I were at a wedding expo, and there was a huuuuuuuuge line of caterers that had samples of chicken, fish and beef. You had to try EVERY dish before you could move on, and a lot of the caterers were doing things, so you could only get some samples....and it was so stressful! I had to go back and forth and back and forth to try to get every sample from every caterer so that I could move one to different caterers!

On Friday night I dreamt that I ordered ORANGE bridesmaid dresses! In the dream, this salesgirl convinced me that orange dresses would go really well with purple, green and blue everything else (clearly my subconsious is insane) and I believed it. Then, in the dream, Sarah and I went to meet the salesgirl to pick up the dresses and Sarah FLIPPED OUT at me. She was so mad over the orange dresses! I told her about the dream on Saturday morning and she said, "You better believe that I'd be mad over orange bridesmaid dresses!!"

So, obviously, my subconsious is VERY upset at me that I haven't been very "on" about wedding planning and my inner self thinks that I am dropping the ball on the whole thing!

To counter my subconscious, I HAVE been wedding planning! I went to a meeting at the Blaisdell Manor and if was very pretty and pretty ridiculously expensive! Ryan and I are still trying to figure out what we think is an "acceptable" amount to spend on our wedding, but it sure would be nice if either the Glanzers or the Poulters stumbled upon a previously-unknown fortune and paying for everything, no questions asked.

Alas.

Wish me luck on my first day tomorrow!