In Which I Deal With Being Someone's Fiancée

What a weird word that is--I'm not sure if I like it. For now I'm trying to use it, but in that way where I emphasize something--Ryan pointed this out to me a while back and I didn't realize that I was doing it. When I am making a dramatic point, I will over-enunciate and stretch one of the words out ennnnddddllleeesssllllyyyy. So right now I am saying things like, "I really ought to send an email to my fiiiiiaaaaaaannnnncé."

Of course, I'm still unemployed, so I'm home by myself most of the day. So I end up saying these things to myself.

I'm struck by how much Friday's events have changed things. Not between Ryan and I, although I now look at him with a little more amazement and excitement for this new step in our lives, and I do find myself saying "we" more often than I used to. WE don't have any plans tonight. WE want to see that movie. But yet, the wedding is MINE. MY wedding will be on a Saturday. MY ceremony will be outdoors.

I'm struck by how many people seem to think that I have lots of plans made already (and bear in mind that I encounter very few people on a day-to-day basis). Detailed stuff that I can't even comprehend at this point. Band or DJ? Limo? Makeup done professionally? Dollar dance? (DJ. I dunno. I dunno. Absolutely not.)

And then there's the wedding-industrial complex (with apologies to Gen Eisenhower) that instructs me that WE ought to register for gifts right away, in case any of our associates would like to express their joy to us by buying a blender or a panini press, they have insights into our preferences. Holy shit! I've been engaged to my fiiiiiaaaaaaannnnncé for only a few days, but already WE are supposed to know what china pattern WE would like to eat from for the rest of our natural lives?

The registry thing terrifies me. WE don't know where we'll move next, but we won't be buying a house anytime soon, I can guarantee that! So what do we ask for? Stuff that will fit in an apartment, and when the day comes to buy a house we buy all new stuff? I don't want it to be like Kate and Tim, who stored a cache of wedding gifts at my parents' house for two whole years until they bought a house.

Though, with the registry thing, it would be nice to get a queen-sized down comforter. And I'm sure Ryan will celebrate on the day that our sheets are no longer pink with white polka dots. I kid you not.

I think on some level I must have been under the impression that when I got engaged, I would be imbued with some mystical bridal knowledge passed down from women before me. It didn't happen. I'm still clueless.